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YES, SAM TAKES CARE of ME
Whenever my girlfriends and I got together for our daily '4:00 Bash the Stress' sessions (which was really our way of legitimizing watching Oprah everyday), I cried on their shoulders. I had been doing this so often that they began to laugh at me as soon as I opened my mouth to complain. Each one in turn advised me to get in touch with Sam. "Sam is the man," said one. "He could solve all of your problems' said another. I heard them say 'Sam could do this and Sam could do that' so often that one day as we sat in my living room chewing on chips and watching Oprah, I found the courage to ask…
"Who is Sam?"
"Girlfriend…"
This was Tone'ya Knoes about to answer. Tone'ya is thirty-two years old, the encyclopedia of our group. She's loud, assertive, and the well-informed mother of two daughters. No truer friend could be found. With a Humph at the end of the word, she stood in front of me with her hands resting on her well-endowed hips and shook her head from side to side like a broken shutter. She snapped her fingers two times in an arch above her head and clicked her tongue to the rhythm of the snapping fingers.
"Don't you know anything? Wake up, girl!" She snapped her fingers under my nose. "Sam is the only person that can help you. He takes care of us." She swung her arm to include the three women sitting in front of the television. "How do you think we all make it?"
"I thought you all had a 'man'.
They all laughed.
"Of course we do." Tone'ya answered. "The thing is; can we depend on them?" Tone'ya questioned with a smirk.
"No!"
All of the women shouted in unison and laughed even louder. They shared high-fives and fell all over themselves in merriment.
"How many of you here can depend on your 'man' to remember that you need your bills paid?" She pounded her fist in her opened palm like a frustrated lawyer making a final statement.
"Food on the table, pampers on the baby's butt and most important…money in your pockets?"
Tone'ya did the snap and arch thing again and everybody in the room cheered while laughingly bemoaning the faults of their men.


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